Friday, December 31

Year of the Goat-Fuckers

Sadly, for the second year in four, it's been the year of the goat-fuckers* - and, tsunamis aside, I don't see the tide changing in the forseeable. Still, let's hold out some hope for things to work out according to Daniel Pipes: "Militant Islam is the problem; moderate Islam is the solution." I, of course, would insist on changing his the to an a. But I agree, reluctantly, that his way is Plan A, and that there is no easy way to solve what, to paraphrase Philip Roth, could be termed the great fundamentalist berserk.

So, to nature's berserk: the tsunami. Terrible carnage and all that, blah blah - but what I'm really interested in is the dialectic it has caused concerning our dear old friend the man upstairs, often addressed as "god". See the link, and then here and here, if you please.

I must crack this one out: possibly, just possibly, given the predictably high number of children who have died because of the tsunami, the hand of Chaim Rumbowski is wagging the dog. (Oh, Google away on Rumbowski, but be ready to hold your nose and wipe your eyes.)

But let's - for one horrible moment - consider that god the dog always has his paws on our globe. So: why did he do it? Why does he do it? Again and again and again and again? I'd love to hear a Creationist explanation for this: in the meantime, I'll proffer one; I'll proffer some reasons he may have had for not 'stopping it':

just as the Aids scourge has hit Africa to take care of the uncivilised barbarian hordes, and will shortly be decimating old Communist Russia, so the Asian Pacific tsunami has taken care of thousands of (potential, but the odds are some real) terrorists (ie muslims), the useless, bleating poor (hindus, buddhists, whatever), and western hippy back-packing dope-smoking sex-touring child-fucking non-churchgoing riff-raff (unsurprisingly, there is a delicate German phrase for such types: der Bumsbombers, who tended to return home in sore need of der tripper-clipper). I mean, frolicking on a beach when you should be devoutly honouring the birth of the lord . . . whaddya expect?

Y'know, sometimes you gotta chop a tree so it can grow. Yeah, I know: I'm probably quoting from the good book there.

Indeed, good ol' Dubya may reflect that the man in overall charge has taken care of more islamic fundamentalists in one concerted swoosh than he has so far during his three years' worth of "war on terror". In other words, it's time to step it up, Georgie boy: Big Daddy wants ACTION!

And talking of action, it's time for me to avert my eyes temporarily from the News Gravy dominating the world's media, and sling down the 20 or so things that worked for me this year, before I start slinging down some serious liquor.

* Not that I agree with the late Theo van Gogh on everything - not at all. My, he makes the Bristol Lisper seem a very tame viper! But before we Brits glibly denounce the hostile Dutch reaction - "those fucking Moroccans" and so on - let's remember what we're like. WE have torched aflame German cars and bullied foreign students after England have lost a mere penalty shoot-out. So are we going to turn the other cheek after a major mainland terrorist atrocity? Are we fuck.


posted by DD @ 17:00 


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