Monday, November 1

Jap Sap

It appears that in their manifest desire to analyse the spunk out of everything, the Japanese have noodled themselves the ultimate chat-up line.

The literal English translation of this priceless nectar is: This time next year, let's be laughing together.

No. It's not going to work, is it? Not here, and not there. Not anywhere. Not anymore. Let's face it: it's wetter than a Christmas single. And the reaction of the admittedly few English roses sampled by the Times is enough to condemn it. One struts that the Japs should "stick to inventing gadgets if that's the best they can come up with".

Good. Don't want our ladies going all soft (not when feminism has finally achieved some sort of equilibrium: both sexes are now officially drinking for England).*

Furthermore, here is a blog by a Japanese woman who I'm sure would pour some JD over any hopeless sap who mumbled out that line to her.

I must add that a part of me can't help but imagine how some dogs in Japan must be having the time of their lives . . . picking up the slack, as it were.

* Don't presume I'm being dry or sarcastic - far from it: being sober in the company of drinking men may well be the best definition of hell there is.** Believe me, I tried it once - and it was miserable. Never again. Delayed flights are a holiday by comparison.

Also, it's day one - the first mo(u)rning - of my dry November; so, naturally, drink is teasing my brain. Already. But I'll be okay, for like Dubya I have conferred with the Lord. I have reached out in my hour of need. Yeah: now I am being sarcastic.

** Though I'll always retain a fondness for that old line by Tom Waits that "Hell for me is touring as the support act for a stadium rock band."


posted by DD @ 11:43 


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