Thursday, November 4

I'll Guinea Pig This Stuff Anytime You Want, Bill

On the whole I must admit that I avoid the weighty matters of Science* and Technology: though I do indeed truffle through from time to time, and pay some attention to bits and pieces that float up to the top of the surface of the spam-infested ocean of infotainment, I find a little goes a very long way.

You know, all too soon I get that nauseous feeling that chills us guys (as in dicks) as soon as we've shot our load.

Indeed, you could describe our attitude during that act as: I don't care how you do it, just give me consumer heaven.

And when we're sated it's Where's the remote?

However, this latest news of Microsoft's plans to unleash a single-source, multifaceted home entertainment system is what I've been expecting, and wishing, and hoping for . . . all my adult life.

And yeah, just this once - just this once, mind - I'll volunteer to be a consumer puppet. For the greater good, for the greater good, you understand.

So tell me Bill, what's the choice of colours? Because I'm here to tell you, you modern-day Gatsby, I'm sick to fucking death of Windows' lymphatic grey . . .

* My GCSE exam grade for Physics (the one science subject I studied, because at my school you had to study at least one all the way through to 16) was U ie Unclassified. But the truth was that, as part of my master plan to pass all the others (which I did), I had completely abandoned Physics. This plan caused me some grief when the Physics teacher came up to me one day, apologising because he couldn't find the rest of my mock exam papers ie. he could only find a couple of pieces. I said nothing; I guess I looked, to him, suitably alarmed. The thing was, there were no missing papers: that alarmed look was one of guilt and shame, and when he came round to that conclusion and confronted me about it, he saw that look again.

For the rest of that final year, he gave me grief whenever he could. But I've no complaints (though, I still insist, no apologies): roles reversed, I like to think I'd have reacted exactly the same way; and I have since met many teachers who have regaled me with dark tales concerning how they have managed to deal with impish little squirts like my old schoolboy self.


posted by DD @ 10:53 


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