Tuesday, November 16

Delicious Snacks

No, not chocolate (although Mars bars, Mars bars . . .), but those old dependables, Sex and Death, or, to flip them over into French, Big Death and Little Death - the mixing of which can lead you here.

File her under pure yarbles.

The link is to some very odd thoughts about the orgasm. For the record, I go with that line of Woody Allen's in Manhattan, where his dinner date (if I remember rightly) explains how her analyst has told her that she's having "the wrong kind of orgasm" - to which he replies, "The wrong kind of orgasm? Not me. On the button every time."

Yep. Though there is no god, if there were, he's a guy. He's a mensch, a real mensch. And all of us guys owe him one.

Come to think about it, better make that a double. I like the line on Oxytocin as the chemical that "makes orgasm Nature's sugarcoating to disguise the bitter pill of reproduction".

Ladies . . . by way of compensation, you should go fings yourselves a Mangaian boy from the South Pacific. Read the link, and then read this: you'll see what I'm getting at.

Now tell me: how wet is "Wet"?

A tip given is to "lick her the way Pollock painted" - which I can only take to mean make sure that you're pissed out of your mind. Well, we've all done that.

But it does bring to mind the old critical advice that you should approach a Pollock painting like it's a piece of jazz . . .

. . . and I'll let you complete that connection.

Still, who isn't au fond of the "Gum Clasp with Perineal Pinch"? Really.

Or as our Homer would put it: Hmmm, papaya . . .

En passant, I note that beards are a no-no, and it's commented that drinking single-malt scotch is a pissy thing men do to "prove their refinement".

Shit. I'm currently on two strikes!

Personally, guys, my little tip of the tongue is to work your way through the alphabet. Capitals or lower case, forwards or backwards . . . whatever; and as you do, you can do worse than have some Marvin on for ambience.

As is pointed out in that link, Marvin Gaye is to soul what John Coltrane is to jazz. Yes, it's true. They both completely disappeared up their own artistic arses, before popping off early . . . which convenielty leads me to this piece about the drug-related mortality hot spots of Britain.

Well, if I had to live in Spalding, Lincolnshire, I'd be wrapping my heart around the Horse too.

Unlike these. This is proof that Germany has the toughest pensioners in the world. How come? Well, you do the maths. See where I'm coming from? You know, they'd take care of these hoodlum jokers in no time at all.

HEADS UP HOLLYWOOD: following on from my diatribe of yesterday, there's a hit comedy in this story of septuagenarian gangsters.


posted by DD @ 13:02 


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