Tuesday, November 2

Circadian Rhythms

Wakey wakey ye voters lying (-in) heavy with dread.

According to this piece of research, you need to get out and vote early doors, when your brain is functioning at its best. The ideal time? Between 11am and noon.

Yeah: High Noon, brothers and sisters.

Then, come the dusk, you should exercise: punish your body for the shitty feelings you have harboured - for months now - about this election. Kick a dog, dangle a cat, ride the pony - whatever.

And then it's time to exorcise said demons: yep, hit the bottle.

Come now, you don't need me to tell you that if I were you I'd be getting absolutely shit-faced later today.

Here's the rituals I've practiced for the last two General Elections here:

Early evening - a bottle or so of white wine, with little hits of whatever takes my fancy on the table . . . and on the stereo.

Then at 9.30pm (a half-hour before the polls close and the TV fun begins) on goes Revolver.* Trust me: that's been THE KEY MOVE for things going my way.

Fate can't fuck with the Fabs.

Laters, laters . . . I'm two-fingering whatever bozo losers have got on my nerves during previous years (Politics: a conveyor belt of feckless drecks. No need to discuss) with two fingers of something suitably acidic kissing the ice in the tumbler in my hand.

I've made the dawn chorus both times - and of course in so doing I've completely contradicted the body's natural laws, and temporarily skewered its immutable circadian rhythms.

Temporarily. Because the body gets you back; it makes you pay. The hard way.

I distinctly remember that in 1997 I was comatose on the Saturday morning, following the Thursday-through-Friday election shindig, when my newly-elected local MP came tannoying down the street, thanking us all for our votes. "Fucking hell," I said to my then lover, as she opened her eyes with a despairing sigh. "Fucking hell, we need some of whatever he's on."

* One thing to point out is that said album is a if not the perfect summer record, and May or June is when we happy few tend to trundle off to the polls in the UK, in our ever decreasing numbers.

So if I were domicile in NYC or thereabouts I'd probably be blaring out Highway 61 Revisited or Is This It? or all over the Revolver slot.

Also, I'll make a So What? prediction that if you're going for Kerry I'd have a copy of Pet Sounds (Rubber Soul's achingly beautiful younger sister) to hand, for later tonight you'll be needing to hear I Just Wasn't Made for These Times.

Even if you're a dial-a-cliche goth-black sun-hating medusa-piercing Suicide Girl, it beats No Surrender, with its gauche "we learned more from a three minute record than we ever did in school". Shut it - and read my lips: No. You. Did. Not.

Me? I'd vote the other way just to kill off that song.


posted by DD @ 13:24 


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