Wednesday, October 27

Weenie-Spined, Yellow-Toothed, Tea-Sipping Pansy-Ass That I Am . . .

I had blithely ignored the brouhaha over the campaign, initiated by the Guardian, to have British people writing to the residents of Ohio, begging them not to vote for Bush next month.

So I've only just read through the reaction from the US (see link).

Easy tigers!

Silly idea that it was - and doubtless there'll be a reciprocal campaign during our next General Election (though no matter, for it will be a shoo-in for Tony Blair; it's an even greater lockdown than . . . the RED SOX for the World Series. YES!) - I do sense a tad of overreaction.

My, some of you Americans really don't like us, do you? Well, that's okay. I mean, I go with the comment by the great Orson Welles that when it comes to the States "after New York, it's all Connecticut". So I don't really give a shit about Ohio, because I've always sensed that New Yorkers don't give a shit about Ohio either.* In sensibility, they're much closer to metrosexual Londoners than the pseudo-simple folk over in Little House on the Prairie-land.

But I'm open to be corrected on that. Politely corrected.

So: let's tick those boxes shall we?

Pansy-ass? I wish. I'm afraid my arse has become way too fond of its seat. It is fit, though: I mean, there are times when I swear I could shit bullets.

Tea-sipping? Well, yes I do. Why, would you prefer that I slurped it? By the by, I drink a whole lot of most things. Besides, tea's good for your memory, or so it's been alleged.

Yellow-toothed? What is it with you guys across the pond? Why are you obsessed with our teeth? I mean, we don't laugh at all your teens with their girdled mouths and bubblegummed braces . . .

Oh. Actually, we do.

Let me see now (and then): Chaplin. Niven. Olivier. Grant. Leigh (Okay - half Indian). Burton. Finney. O'Toole. Lennon. Jagger. Caine. Christie. Twiggy. Springfield. Plant. Sting. Campbell. Moss. Boy George. Morrissey. Cocker. Branagh. Law. Beckinsale. Watson. Morton. Winslet. Zeta-Jones. Knightley. Driver.

Need I go on?

All yellow-toothed horrorshows, yeah?

Let's file this untruth down: sure there are some dodgy teeth around, but I tend to go with the rough maxim (based on pure demographics) that whatever we've got, America enjoys to the power of six. Six. Six. Six.

Weenie-spined? Does that mean that my spine is as solid as my dick? Well, I'll take that. Or is it meant to mean sausage-spine? Huh? Please explain. Also, you're not confusing us with the French, are you?

To conclude with a fresh boast, for a people described as above (though we would much prefer being called a bunch of scrubbers and tarts - believe me, we would bask in that sobriquet) we're not doing so badly right now. To wit:

We have

  • the #1 political leader in the world: Prime Minister Blair

  • the most gorgeous, iridescent actresses in the world: Samantha Morton, Kate Beckinsale, and Keira Knightley

  • the most drop-dead gorgeous actor in the world - talent with talent: Jude Law (albeit with my abstracted eye**)

  • the most talented young film director going: Christopher Nolan

  • the best up their own arse arty rock and roll band on the planet: Radiohead (who doubtless consider themselves "citizens of the world" as opposed to plain old British)

  • the best fuck 'em all new band - not necessarily on the same daily planet as the rest of us: the Libertines

  • the most promising young novelist out there: Zadie Smith
Right: I'm off to comb my teeth!

* In fact, I must confess my knowledge of the Buckeye state begins with "Four dead in . . . " and ends with an off-the-top-of-my-head belief that both the Cramps and Marilyn Manson crawled out from Outer Space, Akron. If so, very strange, very strange . . .

** Methinks I do protesteth too much. Am I in denial? Well, am I?


Link

posted by DD @ 13:00 

6 Comments:

Blogger job opportunitya said...

Excellent blog. Your site was great and will be
finding it again!  I surf the net for blogs like
yours.
It may look like it was hard work, but my quote term life insurance rate blog was simple.

5 December 2005 at 09:17  
Blogger oakleyses said...

jordan shoes, prada handbags, nike air max, nike air max, kate spade handbags, louis vuitton outlet online, christian louboutin, coach outlet store online, oakley vault, longchamp handbags, red bottom shoes, coach outlet, michael kors outlet online, christian louboutin outlet, longchamp outlet, nike free, true religion outlet, christian louboutin shoes, tiffany and co jewelry, louis vuitton outlet, michael kors outlet store, gucci handbags, louis vuitton outlet, longchamp outlet online, louis vuitton handbags, chanel handbags, ray ban sunglasses, polo ralph lauren, true religion, michael kors outlet online, burberry outlet online, cheap oakley sunglasses, tory burch outlet, michael kors outlet, coach purses, polo ralph lauren outlet, burberry outlet online, ray ban outlet, kate spade outlet online, michael kors outlet online, tiffany jewelry, oakley sunglasses, nike shoes, louis vuitton, coach outlet, prada outlet, michael kors outlet online

3 November 2014 at 03:40  
Blogger oakleyses said...

ray ban pas cher, ray ban uk, chaussure louboutin, hermes pas cher, air jordan, new balance pas cher, nike roshe run, louis vuitton pas cher, true religion jeans, lululemon, nike air max, nike roshe, nike blazer pas cher, nike air max, nike free, michael kors canada, hollister, ralph lauren pas cher, sac vanessa bruno, louis vuitton, burberry pas cher, longchamp, nike air force, converse pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, nike free pas cher, air max pas cher, ralph lauren, vans pas cher, sac michael kors, north face pas cher, sac louis vuitton, michael kors uk, scarpe hogan, hollister, guess pas cher, north face, timberland, true religion outlet, air max, barbour, longchamp pas cher, louis vuitton uk, tn pas cher, oakley pas cher, lacoste pas cher, mulberry

3 November 2014 at 03:41  
Blogger oakleyses said...

roshe run, bottega veneta, celine handbags, jimmy choo shoes, mac cosmetics, canada goose outlet, lululemon outlet, rolex watches, new balance outlet, beats headphones, giuseppe zanotti, mont blanc pens, vans outlet, marc jacobs outlet, ugg soldes, ugg boots, chi flat iron, canada goose outlet, instyler ionic styler, uggs outlet, north face outlet, mcm handbags, insanity workout, nike trainers, wedding dresses, p90x workout, ugg outlet, hollister, ferragamo shoes, herve leger, abercrombie and fitch, soccer shoes, uggs on sale, ugg, valentino shoes, longchamp, nike huarache, north face jackets, ghd, babyliss pro, canada goose, asics shoes, nfl jerseys, reebok shoes, birkin bag, canada goose outlet, soccer jerseys

3 November 2014 at 03:42  
Blogger oakleyses said...

canada goose, moncler, pandora charms, toms outlet, lancel, pandora uk, moncler, links of london uk, parajumpers outlet, oakley, moncler, nike air max, converse shoes, juicy couture outlet, louis vuitton canada, baseball bats, ray ban, swarovski uk, replica watches, moncler, supra shoes, gucci, ugg, converse, air max, vans, hollister canada, canada goose uk, moncler, timberland shoes, canada goose, ralph lauren, thomas sabo uk, uggs canada, iphone 6 case, wedding dress, canada goose pas cher, montre femme, moncler outlet, hollister clothing, swarovski jewelry, pandora jewelry, hollister, coach outlet, karen millen, moncler, louboutin, juicy couture outlet

3 November 2014 at 03:43  
Blogger Zheng junxai5 said...

zhengjx20160623
coach outlet store online
louis vuitton handbags
christian louboutin sale
jordan retro 13
air jordan shoes
christian louboutin outlet
burberry handbags
louis vuitton outlet
jordan retro 11
ralph lauren
kd 7 shoes
michael kors outlet clearance
coach outlet
toms outlet
ray bans
louis vuitton bags
polo ralph lauren
giuseppe zanotti outlet
supra for sale
nike store
louis vuitton outlet
jordan 3 powder blue
michael kors outlet
gucci bags
nike air max uk
toms outlet
ray ban sunglasses outlet
louis vuitton outlet
vans sneakers
michael kors outlet
polo ralph lauren outlet
louis vuitton bags
designer handbags
coach outlet store online
nike running shoes for men
celine bags
louis vuitton purses
ray ban sunglasses
coach outlet
michael kors handbags

23 June 2016 at 09:27  

Post a Comment

<< Home