Tuesday, October 19

Not On My Watch

The title to the link reads "Good news for Chavs: they may be cool people soon."

Well, not on my watch.

There are pieces covering the same story - the history of neologisms - here and here; the latter sees the author of the tome behind it all - Larpers and Shroomers: the Language Report - predicting the demise of the metrosexual and the return of the retrosexual. Wonderful women of the world, I'm afraid Exhibit A is right here, right now.

The prime reason why Chavs, just like the equally hideous Sloanes of the 1980s, will never be cool is this: their zip worthwhile contribution to culture.

By quick comparison, Grunge had an element of cool (despite the egregious Pearl Jam), thanks to Nirvana, and the early faux-stoner Beck. (Incidentally, I found it odd that Grunge itself was not on the hot 100 buzzwords list. Whatever. And there you have another overlooked wonder.)

As for the old phenomenon of Shroomers, back in the heady days of Grunge I remember sharing a plateful of magic mushrooms prior to attending an all-night party in Charlton (in the part that estate agents like to call Blackheath borders); the effects kicked in over drinks in the nearest pub, the Standard, where the motions of going to the bar or toilet became akin to walking on the moon.

Oh baby, it's a wonderful feeling. And nobody can deny.

A longer term effect of that night was meeting the girl (the provider of the mushrooms, as it happens) I then proceeded to waste five of the best years of my life with. Okay, waste is a tad harsh . . . but the moral is there, kids: don't do drugs.

Joking apart, one other thing I can relate: I soon learned that trudging through the beastly oomska called the countryside looking for said little poppets of pleasure is just about the most boring thing you can do of a Saturday afternoon.

(Not that that memory checks my curses on the beastly oomska getting in my way in the local* Asda, when I am at my weakest - in the middle of a crying jag of a hangover - and make the mistake of entering our modern-day Hades for some emergency relief.)

* My local treats us punters to an Arthur Mullard-esque tannoy announcer, warning us not to miss out on all the "boot'ful bargains" available each day. Still, it does have both a halal and kosher meat section - though a lot of the normal meat is Dutch Product so there's a good chance that all is not what it seems on those counts, but is in fact this.


posted by DD @ 21:58 


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