Thursday, October 21

500 Million People Eating Yoghurt With a Fork

Before I move on to the SERIOUS news, this burp of bullshit had me rocking my (celebratory) Irish coffee.

Just what the world needs: a re-recording of Do They Know It's Christmas? with Chris Martin playing the part of "the young Bono". And you think I just chisel away at those two at random, don't you? No. I tell you, I tell you: there is method in my madness.

BUT do they ever know when to fucking well leave alone?

May I suggest that before they do this, the would-be participants (Noel G: I thought you knew better; you'll disappoint me) and the would-be purchasers of said product read the link piece, an expose of the current vortex in Darfur (with, I'm afraid, the usual read it NOW before they charge you for it proviso of links to the New York Times). There's also the Wikipedia rolling review here.

It may take some of them a week to finger their way through it, but they should get the gist: that there are both simple and convoluted reasons for the depredation and ensuing deracination that the variously intertwined and yet combative tribal, religious and political groups continue, inexorably, to exacerbate.

Yet even the likes of the mighty Midge Ure should be able to suss that the roving death squads of the janjaweed are EVIL incarnate.

Of course, if I headed the UN - as opposed to the freeloading cretin who does so right now - I'd have thousands of peacekeepers in there to halt this bloodshed.* That's step one. Automatic for the people.

BUT then we need to ask ourselves this: what are we proposing to throw money at?

And then this: who are we proposing to throw money to?

PLEASE let's take note of a key salient point: twenty years on, twice as many people are starving in Ethiopia. Thank you, Live Aid.

Why? Well, the answer is probably inside those two previous questions.

For fuck's sake, someone has to say it: Bob Geldof gets on my dugs.

Whenever I hear the word 'saint', I have to fight the itch to start scratching my arse. Am I alone in this?

Crying out feed the world ain't gonna get the job done. Sorry, I'm not sorry. We can give them food, but behind every natural disaster in Africa there are always underlying catastrophes of incompetence and corruption that have to be addressed, but never are. They never are.

So no, I'm not going to be buying this fucking single, just like I stayed clear of the original. Why? Because at best - at best - with this sentimental approach we're only ever going to get them to this symbolic level: 500 million people eating yoghurt with a fork.

* In the longer term, I've been toying with the idea that the rich West needs to reconquer Africa, correct our original cock-ups (and there were many) and set up a viable infrastructure for the poor fuckers. And I'm using the harsh word reconquer, because there's no point in applying a silly band aid to the festering wound enveloping that continent.

What I mean is, if we leave it to themselves, they're fucked. And yes, this may well be another argument for the one-armed man leading the blind in this world, but that's the way it has to be.

I say get over it, and let's get in there . . .

ADDENDUM: Noel G has since finagled his way out of this wankfest - "recording commitments, blah blah". But it appears that Damon Albarn is going to be involved. For the record, I think he's Britain's most talented living pop musician - I fucking love that Mali Music record - but his politics is stuck at the Che-Guevara-poster-on-the-wall level of naive.

Furthermore, it appears to be genetic. He once proudly stated that his grandfather (or some other close blood relation) was a conscientious objector during the second world war; now to me, in relation to that war, that's nothing for any British person to be proud about.


posted by DD @ 13:01 


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