Monday, August 16

Thai Platforms

Apart from the Hitch (beginners: go to Christopher Hitchens in BOAT DRINKS - pronto! and be prepared to think) who phones in a regular piece to straighten the backs of English proles, it really is something of a red-letter day when I link to the Daily Mirror. Funnily enough, I can see the newspaper offices out of my bedroom window (though I never did bump into its notorious editor Piers "double yer money" Morgan*, and, alas, he was recently given the bin liner treatment, so any opportunity for me to land one on may have gone for good).

But this piece fits my 'remit' here, so to speak. And if you have yet to do so, I recommend a read of Michel Houellebecq's Platform and Atomised, as they reflect on this kind of sex trade, and more. As I used to (actually, still do) point out about the Irish, like all good Frenchmen he got the fuck out of France pretty much as soon as he could. Yeah, I know, you're there already. The joke's on me. Where did Houellebecq go? Bloody Ireland.

*And one thing - the sole thing - in Piers' credit column with me was his hatred of Mr Chewy, otherwise known as Alex Ferguson. There you have it: what unites Piers Morgan, Victoria Beckham and myself... And what a rum triumvirate we make.

Should anyone out there be wondering what it is about old Chewy that winds us up, it's things like this (from the Guardian's Fiver:

Fergie v BBC, Round 15

The size and frequency of Sir Alex Ferguson's bust-ups with the BBC would make even Jodie Marsh blush. So when Match of the Day returned last weekend, the Fiver started our watch - tick, tock, tick - sat back, and waited for the inevitable thermonuclear explosion. After all, not many managers have claimed, like Fergie has, that: "The BBC are dying for us to lose. Everyone is from Liverpool with a supporter's badge. They will be at our games every week until we lose, that mob. That's what will drive us on."

Today, at 9am - five days into the new season - our watch stopped. Because Fergie has only gone and banned BBC reporters! The reason? Back in May, the corporation published a warts 'n' all documentary about links between him, the club, and his agent son Jason - and Ferguson is still simmering. "It is regrettable that Sir Alex has chosen not to speak to the BBC," said a hesitant BBC Sport spokeswoman. "We do hope he will reconsider."

If history is any guide, they'll be in the doghouse for a while yet - for Fergie's run-ins with the BBC are legendary. When Jimmy Hill criticised Eric Cantona for backheeling John Polston in the face, he fumed: "If there's a prat in this world, he's the prat." While, a year later, when John Motson asked an innocent question about Roy Keane, Fergie responded: "You've no right to ask that question, you're out of order. You know full well my rule on that, right? That's the interview finished. You ******* know the rules here." The Fiver certainly doesn't, but we're standing well back anyhow.

posted by DD @ 10:52 


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