Sunday, May 16

Viddy Yarbles!

When one has no particular aptitude for anything,
one takes to the pen and poses as a talented person
- Honore de Balzac

That puffed up old dog of a man wrote those sneering words in 1835, after one of his many amours had tried to push forward one of her own young suitors (oh those French . . .) with deluded ideas about literary greatness. (Now that's quintessentially French!) So Balzac reluctantly sniffed him out, then dismissed him as being painfully "characteristic of our times".

Of course, in our times we seldom reach for the pen; indeed, if you read chunks of this article courtesy of Private Eye you shall no doubt recoil at how some of our current delinquents can't be arsed to carry a pen to school. The future? Be afraid, be very afraid compadres.

No - nowadays we hit the net, and naturally I've been loathe to join the moronic inferno out there, Jorge Luis Borges' Library of Babel on high resolution - why even toying with Dr Google prior to this opener I came upon a blog by a nine year-old Brazilian girl (and no, you latent and not-so-latent sickoes out there, I'm not schtupping a link to her!) and some sorry old dear warbling on about her Arkansan grandchildren. Full story and pics and an inability to break or paragraph her guff - urrgghh. Blah blah . . . Enough already.

The trouble is, most of the time they're deathly dull. Pure Korma ie mild, way too mild. And gooey. See it? Feel it? I believe I can smell it! Believe me: the slide into worldwide infantilism continues apace (just look in your local bookshop).

But not here, my brand new friends.

No - we have no ned to care about what's dribbling out of young Alfie and Zeta's various orifices this week. Nor do we need to care for the 'trials and tribulations' of anyone else's work. It's simple: either your work really is Mcshite ie infra dig - or else you pick up a sizeable wad for arse-licking half your life away. That's the way it is in London, baby. Brutal, but true.

I SWEAR BY THIS MANTRA:

Keep your head down and do your bird;
then when you get out the door, turn up the boosters . . .


So: why am I bothering to do this?

  • For a laugh

  • It's something to fool around with when your head's "beating like a fucked clock" through the mongrel hours of a Saturday or Sunday afternoon (BTW need I signal each and every reference used from one of my favourite movies, Withnail and I ? I think I can assume that anyone who hangs around here is completely down with that work of genius)

  • As I said, so much else out there is pure korma

  • Oh - and because whole Big Brother concept gets on my tits. What I hate most about it is the idea of enforced fun - almost as bad as having it forced on yourself is watching others going through it. And no question about it: all the contestants are duffers!

Right - that's enough of my mini-manifesto. I'm off to NYC to have a ball with some friends (one of the fools is getting married next month) - so this time next week I'll no doubt be stagggering on my hands and knees round the Lower East Side.

Until I return, you all hold tight out there . . .


posted by DD @ 23:59 

5 Comments:

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Wow, you post a lot.

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